


Reality sinks in

by spica_starson



Category: Boruto: Naruto Next Generations, Naruto
Genre: Angst, Gen, Guilt, Hurt, I just had to write this gosh, Platonic Relationships, Set after Boruto Episode 131, full gen, i adore their relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 10:24:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21297914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spica_starson/pseuds/spica_starson
Summary: "Naruto...I..."Looking back now, it was but a wisp of memory washed away by a new promise they made...but still. It never left him. That moment when reality sunk into his bones, right as he succumbed to his wounds, falling to his knees with the idiot’s face inches from his own. The words on his mouth had died. What did he want to say?What was it that he wanted to do?...A glimpse into the inner-mind of Uchiha Sasuke as memories came crashing down on him. Guilt ensues.
Relationships: Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	Reality sinks in

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in so long but then that episode rammed me into feels land like no other :")) Welp, back to writing for Naruto- I'm so sorry for not having continued on 'How Team 7 Came To Be'--real life happened and now I'm trying to get back into the mood of writing ahaha;; I really do want to finish it though. Just that one...I want to give my all.
> 
> Aight, this has gone long enough! Comments and feedbacks are more than appreciated! Now onto the feels-

Sasuke huffed to himself as he eyed the small frames walking further away from him. Back to the heart of Konoha. Home.

But it wasn’t. Not really. Even then, even to the him in this era—(the one who let go of the only place he ever knew, of everything his life was) where time seems to have reversed and stopped at such a convenient time (damn that turtle)...it stopped being one.

Not until much later.

He remembered bright smiles and eyes that spoke of a challenge, warmth beneath them that promised companionship. Blinking, his memories morphed, his gut twitching as they felt as real as the air he breathes in: Blue eyes remorseful and betrayed. Red and furious. Ridiculously strong chakra molding into the spitting image of the Nine-Tails, hot tears flowing down his whiskered cheeks. The fear gripping at him rendering his feet useless, stuck on top of that rushing river. Sasuke was-

_"Sasuke!"_ A battle cry, a promise. A promise Sasuke broke. _**"I won’t let Orochimaru have you!"** _

Memories that he knows he buried years ago, suddenly brought back into the surface out of his will with that very same face just a few paces away, looking at anywhere else but him.  
  
_"What exactly are you?!” he had demanded, confusion only adding fuel to his anger._

_Without a beat: "Your friend!" As if it was the most obvious thing in the world. The only truth that hang between them as they clashed over and over- Him trying his hardest to deny it because he couldn't- Not anymore-  
_

His footstep was silent—a shadow that basked under the rays of sunlight. He was a stranger here. And it will stay that way until his- _their_ mission was over.

_...Kamisama, he can’t wait to just go home and pretend none of this ever happened. Back to Sakura and his home, his family, the hollowness in his chest-_

His mind abruptly stopped. _Not the time_, he chided himself.

_At least,_ he reasoned, walking behind the two bickering blondes in front of him, _Boruto seems to be taking this experience to heart_.

Because the young Genin could. He had no prior ties to Naruto other than sharing the same hair, the same vigor, passion and blood- damn. He hoped no one would connect the dots.

"...go to Ichiraku Ramen? But I thought Pervy Sage told you to take it easy tonight!"

"Hey! This body’s still fit as ever-ttebasa! A little ramen would really boost our stamina for tomorrow, don’t you think?" A laugh, an honest distraction. How convincing.

"...Y-yea, you’re right! I’ll race you there-ttebayo!!"

Sasuke watched as the two figures grew increasingly smaller, the bite of a challenge spurring both youngsters up as their chakra intertwined—even without them noticing.

Naruto probably thought no one had noticed, but he did. Worried eyes glancing every few seconds at the shallow wound he accidentally gave his future-kid. Eyes wrinkling, a ghost of a smile, bittersweet and accepting, briefly flitted across his lips.

It was nothing compared to the pain he brought onto his best friend himself.

Over and over— Rain had fallen, dyeing his life a solemn grey as it poured, soaking both of them wet. Staring and staring, his eyes never leaving the one person who was willing to sacrifice his life- his _bright future_ for him-

_"Naruto...I..."_

Looking back now, it was but a wisp of memory washed away by a new promise they made...but still. It never left him. That moment when reality sunk into his bones, right as he succumbed to his wounds, falling to his knees with the idiot’s face inches from his own. The words on his mouth had died. What did he want to say?

What was it that he wanted to do?

_(I’m sorry.)_

Right. Had he ever apologized to the Naruto of his time? Did he ever even felt the _need_ to? It was as if the idiot already knew without him having to say it to his face, that stupid grin that radiates warmth wherever he goes. A promise of kinship. And no matter what happens...

It was unfair, Sasuke decided. He even apologized to Sakura—his beloved wife who deserved so much more that what he could give, and that idiot had the gall to one up him with so much understanding—

His mouth now dry, Sasuke willed his mind to stop wandering as the gate to Konoha neared, gulping down as his heart beat a familiar rhythm. Night time had fallen by the time his pondering ended, the two boys having reached the A-Un gate much earlier than he had.

_Uh oh._ A misjudgment on his part, because the blond in question had stomped up to him, cheeks puffed in anger as he yelled: "Occhan! What’s holding you up, huh?! We’ve been waiting for you for 10 minutes—"

"I was held up. I’m sorry." Came his curt answer. No fight, no denials—eyes not looking directly into his. Everything he would never usually act like with Naruto. _Any more suspicion and they might figure out the truth_, he wryly thought. But then he unceremoniously lowered his gaze and met his- so bright the moon had no choice but to reflect it. For a moment he couldn't breathe, seeing his own image in those honest eyes, panic clawing the back of his mind because he _knew_. Those widening eyes that always _knew_—

All of a sudden, that thread of understanding was severed with a snap, Naruto looking away with a huff.

"...hmph! Fine, fine, but don’t expect me to wait for you all the time-dattebayo! I’m starving here—am I right, Boruto?"

An easy grin. "Yeah! Let’s stuff ourselves up on Ichiraku tonight—your treat though!!"

"Eeehhh?!”

There was only one Sasuke that was on his mind right now. And Sasuke didn’t know which one was more justified: his guilt or undeniable relief. (He paid no mind to the warmth in his chest, squashed it down because that was the last thing he deserved to feel.)

"Oh- S- Master!" called out his disciple, already tagging along the excited Genin, "are you coming with us or...?" An open invitation. He appreciated that. There was something wistful in the tone of his voice, an unspoken question, beveled out with a level of patience he could only suspect came from Hinata.

Maybe it was due to that or the thoughts penetrating his mind on the way here. His desire to see how his best friend fared and lived without his presence, while he had tried his hardest to forget about the bonds he made throughout his harsh training with that Snake. He had only one goal in mind, and he realized—so did Naruto. More things to intertwine their fate with, he supposed.

Or perhaps it was the lull of the night, the promise of warmth and familiarity, of his _old team_—even if he can never be anywhere near Sakura—the risk of being found out too high. But whatever it was almost drove him to say _"Yes,"_ before his sense of duty reeled into him, a sharp reminder of his true responsibility here.

"...I’ll be around. Don’t wait up for me."

And then he was gone again. Like a presence that was never there, lurking away from the sun and into the shadows, where he belonged. He could see the frustration Naruto expressed with his quick disappearance, but luckily Boruto had been clever in directing his attention towards the nearing ramen stall.

Letting himself be comfortable on the branch supporting his weight, Sasuke watched as the two animatedly interact for the remainder of the night, right until they were knocked out in Naruto’s bedroom, stomachs filled and energy renewed. He continued to observe them, his one hand gripping the rail tight with no one to see him.

_I’m sorry_, he wanted to tell the boy, who had suffered just as much as he had, even more so because of him.

_I wish there was another way_, the words rolling behind his tongue, poisonous in a way _What-ifs_ usually are.

But he couldn’t see into the future, and he didn’t know what would affect the future they’ve worked so hard to build—a future he has lived. Where _they_ have lived. A future he wanted nothing more than to protect. There were too many equations to think about, all of them weighing hard on him as he struggled to consider which one should be changed. Itachi. Sakura. Kakashi. His family.

_Naruto._

Everyone else in that future, those who died for the future they have now...

Guilt pooled in his insides as reality set in: _Would their sacrifice mean nothing then? Would their children’s life just cease to exist?_

He was no God. And he has no plan on putting himself in that pedestal.

Fear rooted him in place, breath shallow as his mind whirled. With a twist in his chest, a gaping darkness threatening to swallow him with all the possibilities presented to him—

Sasuke took a deep breath. His grip on the rail loosening. Forcing his eyes back to the sleeping, peaceful faces of the two blondes, he reigned in his resolve as a familiar calmness washed over him.

”Hang in there, usuratonkachi,” he whispered into the cool night, dark eyes tinted with regret. “You’re the strongest idiot I know. You won’t give up.” _No matter how much I wanted you to. Over and_ _over._ With a final sigh, he let himself go.

_**No harm shall come to Naruto.** That was his final verdict._

**Author's Note:**

> Something that stuck out to me was how Sasuke was avoiding Naruto just as he is from Sakura—albeit less obvious. He’d still address him and doesn’t mind being in his presence, but there’s a distance in his words and actions, always letting others get to Naruto first. At first it frustrated me, because I wanted nothing more than for him to talk to Genin!Naruto...but then realization hit me and dang, it hurts ahahhaha—
> 
> And thus this fanfic was born lol. Do tell me what you think about the fic or the ep!! Feedback is most appreciated<3


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